I think it is safe to say we all go through some 'dark times' in our lives, as it is just the way of life. There are ups and there are downs, but I believe it's what we do afterwards that counts. We can create beauty from the darkness. We can learn from it and shine a light to help others who may be going through something similar. Then it hasn't been wasted.
Not that I think it ever would be wasted. I am a great believer in the school of thought that says before we come to earth, we choose lessons to learn that will help us grow. I don't think suffering is an a priori necessity for growth, because deep down we are all pure, bright souls, but I think that pain can be a great catalyst. A 'dark night of the soul' can show us how strong we truly are deep down within. We may sometimes feel it, but we are never alone. We are being guided and protected every step of the way.
I once had a profound dream that gave me the very answer I was looking for. I had been going through a bad time and I was desperate for some answers as to why this was happening to me. You know the sort of feeling, "what have I done to deserve this?" It was before I had come to the realisation that I am in fact a soul on a special, spiritual journey, and that I am amassing lessons and blessings to take back home with me. I just thought life was being dreadfully unfair, because I was a good person.
But I am an even better person now, because of what I learnt about myself during and after this dark time. I found strength I didn't even know I had.
Also, the dream told me something that I will remember forever.
Basically, I went to bed, asking something like- why does this have to happen. Why can't I come out the other side NOW. I just wanted it over!
Photography is a hobby of mine. That night, I dreamt I was standing on a beautiful beach, with pine trees on each side. I was trying to take a photo of the beautiful surroundings, but I was struggling because I couldn't fit it all into the lens. So I kept taking a step back, and another, but no matter how far I stepped back, I could not get the whole beautiful scene into the lens.
I began to hover above the scene, taking on some of those wonderful dream abilities we can often gain. But despite being able to fly I still couldn't fit everything in the picture. In fact, flying allowed me to be able to see even more beauty that I wanted to fit into the lens!
It was at this point, hovering above this beautiful beach with my camera, that a voice said to me: 'you can never see the big picture'.
It could not have been given to me any more clearly than that. My perspective from my limited human stance is just a small, tiny 'camera lens' snapshot of the whole rest of what is going on.
And you know, that dream was right. The dark night of the soul led to a profound awakening for me. I pursued hypnotherapy and then reiki, and by helping myself to learn, grow and find the beauty and the blessings, I equipped myself with the skills to help others- something I'd always wanted to do.
Reiki has been a wonder and a joy to me because it has enhanced this process of growth and learning. It is enabling me to help myself and to help others realise the beauty and the wonder we all hold within. We are all capable of so much more than we realise. But as times are changing and awareness is increasing, let us be thankful that we are part of such an amazing time on earth. A time of growth, learning, beauty and blessings. Where dark nights of the soul are only a small snapshot in an ever increasingly beautiful 'big picture'. Where we all shine like sparkles of light in dark times, and in the bright and beautiful times, shine like bright stars upon those beings who need to find the light. Working together to create a beautiful big picture, that we can only even begin to imagine.
Saturday 6 January 2007
Power of thought
So many people just do not realise how powerful the mind is. I hope that by writing this, some more people in the world can begin to discover how amazing it is when used for our advantage.
In simple terms, the subconscious mind is like fertile soil, and our thoughts are like the seeds we plant. As the soil is fertile, any seed will grow there. It is up to us, consciously, to choose the seeds we plant.
So many of us have grown up with bad habits of mind, like worry and self-doubt; thinking we are not good enough, that we'll never do this or that, that we will fail.
Essentially, what this means is that we are thinking thoughts of worry, doubt, self-loathing... and these seeds are being planted. The soil does not know what plants we want to grow, it just allows them all to grow!
So, it is up to us to change our minds, to change the seeds we plant.
Even if you don't believe this, just try it. Become aware of your thoughts, notice how many negative thoughts can go through your mind even in the space of a few minutes. Make it your mission to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Becoming aware of your thoughts is the starting point. When you become aware, you take a step back, and you can watch the thoughts and learn from them. Then you can begin to change them.
When you notice a negative thought- and this generally happens a lot when you first start to change the way you think- start making it your habit to NEVER finish it. If it helps, imagine that negative thoughts take you down a black road... a dreadful road that leads to dreadful things like pain and worry and fear... a road you'd rather not go down. Instead, there is a golden road that leads to joy and happiness, success and all kinds of wonderful things. Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, if you allow that thought to continue, you are taking yourself down that black road, to all kinds of unhappy things.
You no longer have to do that to yourself. It was just a bad habit, because you didn't know how powerful your thoughts are. The subconscious mind, the fertile soil that receives all our thoughts, can also be likened to a computer and thoughts to the programs we put in. If we are constantly worrying or thinking badly of ourselves, beating ourselves up and saying we're no good, the computer believes that this is the program we want to create in our lives. It then goes out into the world- the real world- and looks for situations where it can fulfil what it thinks we want it to fulfil. So, just by thinking negatively, we can end up attracting negative events into our life- because our subconscious thinks this is what we want, and so skips by the happy programs, seeking out and attracting the negative.
When you really think about it, it is remarkable, because it can work entirely the other way around... we can think good thoughts that program the subconscious mind to give us good feelings, and to seek good people, events and situations.
If we continue thinking negatively, we will continue creating negative and troublesome things for ourselves, because the thoughts are like commands to the subconscious to seek out the things that support whatever we are thinking. Now we know how it works, we don't want it to continue seeking out troubling experiences that reinforce how bad we feel about ourselves.
To prevent this, get into the habit of stopping negative thoughts. You can come up with any number of techniques to do so. A good one to start with is saying in your mind to yourself, gently but firmly, -STOP- any time a negative thought begins to take form. You can even imagine a big stop sign in your mind if you wish! This helps to re-train the mind to get out of the bad habit of following negative thoughts, and gradually, they come to mind less often.
Science has accepted now that there is an inextricable link between mind and body. For example, if you imagine you are holding a big, juicy lemon in your hand... you can probably just about feel the texture of the skin, as if it were real... and you can imagine taking a knife and cutting into that lemon... and smell that fresh, zesty smell as you do so... and see the yellow colour as you cut that lemon in half. Perhaps you can feel some of the sticky juice as it runs out. Now, imagine you raise that lemon to your mouth and you suck it...
If you got really involved in that, you'll have made some kind of 'sour face' and you might have even felt a funny tingle on your tongue or in your mouth somewhere. This shows the link between the mind and body... your body responds to the memory of tasting a lemon.
So, anytime you think about bad things that happened in the past, your body responds by physiologically re-living the experience. Your thoughts about it keep it alive.
Anytime you worry about the future, your body prepares you for the event by putting you in fight or flight mode. Handy if you're face to face with a sabre tooth tiger, not so handy when dealing with the everyday world of work.
The good news is though, and I cannot emphasise this enough- the one thing you have ultimate control over, is your thinking. Victor Frankl said this most profoundly. Despite suffering terrible deeds done to him in a concentration camp, he came to the realisation that nobody could take away from him what he chose to think about. So although he was in the most terrible circumstances, he could still choose to fill his mind with good, happy, beautiful things. What an amazing realisation.
So, begin now to fill your mind with good, happy, beautiful things. Anytime a negative thought begins to form... you have the power to stop it.
If we tell ourselves that we are wonderful, that we can do anything, that we can achieve our ambitions and our dreams, then we empower ourselves to do those very things. Just imagine how much better that kind of self-talk makes you feel- and then start developing it. Talk to yourself encouragingly, as if you were talking to a good friend. Be supportive, nurturing and kind to yourself. Never follow a negative thought again.
We have the power to create wonderful lives, and it all starts with how we think. We can't control 100% what happens in our lives, but we can control our thoughts- and when we do, our lives become that much more wonderful.
Try it and see.
In simple terms, the subconscious mind is like fertile soil, and our thoughts are like the seeds we plant. As the soil is fertile, any seed will grow there. It is up to us, consciously, to choose the seeds we plant.
So many of us have grown up with bad habits of mind, like worry and self-doubt; thinking we are not good enough, that we'll never do this or that, that we will fail.
Essentially, what this means is that we are thinking thoughts of worry, doubt, self-loathing... and these seeds are being planted. The soil does not know what plants we want to grow, it just allows them all to grow!
So, it is up to us to change our minds, to change the seeds we plant.
Even if you don't believe this, just try it. Become aware of your thoughts, notice how many negative thoughts can go through your mind even in the space of a few minutes. Make it your mission to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Becoming aware of your thoughts is the starting point. When you become aware, you take a step back, and you can watch the thoughts and learn from them. Then you can begin to change them.
When you notice a negative thought- and this generally happens a lot when you first start to change the way you think- start making it your habit to NEVER finish it. If it helps, imagine that negative thoughts take you down a black road... a dreadful road that leads to dreadful things like pain and worry and fear... a road you'd rather not go down. Instead, there is a golden road that leads to joy and happiness, success and all kinds of wonderful things. Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, if you allow that thought to continue, you are taking yourself down that black road, to all kinds of unhappy things.
You no longer have to do that to yourself. It was just a bad habit, because you didn't know how powerful your thoughts are. The subconscious mind, the fertile soil that receives all our thoughts, can also be likened to a computer and thoughts to the programs we put in. If we are constantly worrying or thinking badly of ourselves, beating ourselves up and saying we're no good, the computer believes that this is the program we want to create in our lives. It then goes out into the world- the real world- and looks for situations where it can fulfil what it thinks we want it to fulfil. So, just by thinking negatively, we can end up attracting negative events into our life- because our subconscious thinks this is what we want, and so skips by the happy programs, seeking out and attracting the negative.
When you really think about it, it is remarkable, because it can work entirely the other way around... we can think good thoughts that program the subconscious mind to give us good feelings, and to seek good people, events and situations.
If we continue thinking negatively, we will continue creating negative and troublesome things for ourselves, because the thoughts are like commands to the subconscious to seek out the things that support whatever we are thinking. Now we know how it works, we don't want it to continue seeking out troubling experiences that reinforce how bad we feel about ourselves.
To prevent this, get into the habit of stopping negative thoughts. You can come up with any number of techniques to do so. A good one to start with is saying in your mind to yourself, gently but firmly, -STOP- any time a negative thought begins to take form. You can even imagine a big stop sign in your mind if you wish! This helps to re-train the mind to get out of the bad habit of following negative thoughts, and gradually, they come to mind less often.
Science has accepted now that there is an inextricable link between mind and body. For example, if you imagine you are holding a big, juicy lemon in your hand... you can probably just about feel the texture of the skin, as if it were real... and you can imagine taking a knife and cutting into that lemon... and smell that fresh, zesty smell as you do so... and see the yellow colour as you cut that lemon in half. Perhaps you can feel some of the sticky juice as it runs out. Now, imagine you raise that lemon to your mouth and you suck it...
If you got really involved in that, you'll have made some kind of 'sour face' and you might have even felt a funny tingle on your tongue or in your mouth somewhere. This shows the link between the mind and body... your body responds to the memory of tasting a lemon.
So, anytime you think about bad things that happened in the past, your body responds by physiologically re-living the experience. Your thoughts about it keep it alive.
Anytime you worry about the future, your body prepares you for the event by putting you in fight or flight mode. Handy if you're face to face with a sabre tooth tiger, not so handy when dealing with the everyday world of work.
The good news is though, and I cannot emphasise this enough- the one thing you have ultimate control over, is your thinking. Victor Frankl said this most profoundly. Despite suffering terrible deeds done to him in a concentration camp, he came to the realisation that nobody could take away from him what he chose to think about. So although he was in the most terrible circumstances, he could still choose to fill his mind with good, happy, beautiful things. What an amazing realisation.
So, begin now to fill your mind with good, happy, beautiful things. Anytime a negative thought begins to form... you have the power to stop it.
If we tell ourselves that we are wonderful, that we can do anything, that we can achieve our ambitions and our dreams, then we empower ourselves to do those very things. Just imagine how much better that kind of self-talk makes you feel- and then start developing it. Talk to yourself encouragingly, as if you were talking to a good friend. Be supportive, nurturing and kind to yourself. Never follow a negative thought again.
We have the power to create wonderful lives, and it all starts with how we think. We can't control 100% what happens in our lives, but we can control our thoughts- and when we do, our lives become that much more wonderful.
Try it and see.
Acceptance
Do you accept yourself exactly as you are right now, flaws and all? If the answer is yes then let me know who you are as I could learn something from you!
I believe that acceptance is the key to a more peaceful 'flowing' life, yet I admit that sometimes I find it a hard thing to do. There's always something I am dissatisfied with- I want to get rid of this or that, and become 'better'.
Of course there is nothing wrong with striving to be a better person, but it doesn't have to mean rejecting parts of yourself that you're not too fond of. Because these are usually the parts that need love.
I know that probably sounds crazy. How can I possibly love the parts of myself that make me feel bad or make me feel less than who I'd like to be?
I've asked myself this same question and the only answer I could find was to give it a try. It's not always easy, but I am sure it is worth the effort. Because, I can still strive to be a better person without having to reject aspects of myself. Accepting and even loving parts we have often felt hatred towards does not mean that we will became complacent and develop an attitude that says: "since I am accepting myself, I am as I am and I'm not going to change." Oh no! We can change in a more peaceful, loving way.
Imagine all the negative energy being produced by hating and wishing away an aspect of our very selves. No matter what it is, no matter how painful it has been, if we learn to accept and love this shadow part, then we get closer to being able to heal it.
A shadow part of the self is often a troubled part of you that has been hurt or scared in some way and is now trying to protect you from anything similar happening. It has your best interests at heart. I guess it could be viewed as a loving friend who is trying to help but doing so in a flawed way. Hating that friend is not going to help her learn how to better help you, it is only going to make her feel more troubled- and this reflects back on you and how you feel- none of us like to hurt a friend! If we learn to love that friend, she will feel reassured and we can gently help her to change her ways- this allows us to go on learning, growing and becoming better people without such an internal struggle. We are constantly changing, so it makes sense to love all aspects of ourselves as we are every step of the journey. If we are always waiting to love ourselves when we 'get there' we'll end up spending all the time being unloving of ourselves- because ultimately there is no 'there' there is only 'here', and that is wherever we are right now.
I have an 'inner lion' who helped me realise this on a deeper, more personal level in a meditation. He represents my tendancy to strive for inner perfection- and he told me that in doing so, I was missing out on all the goodness I already have within. He told me I don't need to keep hunting for perfection, because this is focusing on lack- and so doesn't allow me to celebrate the goodness of myself- because I am focusing on trying to better the 'badness'. Therefore, I end up beating myself down when I could have been building myself up for what I have achieved.
Of course it didn't come as straightforwardly as all that. In my meditation, all was peaceful and calm. I was sharing reiki with a lion, sounds strange I know but he was a big cuddly softy at this point. But that was not to last... just as I am feeling really relaxed and peaceful, he says to me in a sinister, lion-growl: "Remember, I'm a hunter." At which point he leaps upon me and kills me. What a way to emphasize a point! Thankfully however, being 'killed' lasted only a second or two... and after 'coming back to life' I realised what he was using those big scary lashing paws to tell me- hunting for inner perfection was only killing the enjoyment of the things I had already achieved- essentially killing 'me' as I was at any given moment.
So, our shadow selves do have things to tell us, if we are willing to listen and explore. The best way to do so is to be open and loving and accept who we are, at the stage we are at, right now. Because although we can and most likely will grow better on our journeys, we might as well enjoy the scenery as we go along, rather than focusing on the destination and missing out on a whole lot on the way.
The best way to enjoy the journey I think is to be loving- not only towards others, but towards ourselves, and not only towards the parts of ourselves that we like, but to the parts that we don't like too!
Not always easy, but worthwhile. For as Eckhart Tolle in 'The Power of Now' says, "There is never a time when your life is not this moment." So, let's accept ourselves now, let's love ourselves and each other, now. For now is all we ever have.
I believe that acceptance is the key to a more peaceful 'flowing' life, yet I admit that sometimes I find it a hard thing to do. There's always something I am dissatisfied with- I want to get rid of this or that, and become 'better'.
Of course there is nothing wrong with striving to be a better person, but it doesn't have to mean rejecting parts of yourself that you're not too fond of. Because these are usually the parts that need love.
I know that probably sounds crazy. How can I possibly love the parts of myself that make me feel bad or make me feel less than who I'd like to be?
I've asked myself this same question and the only answer I could find was to give it a try. It's not always easy, but I am sure it is worth the effort. Because, I can still strive to be a better person without having to reject aspects of myself. Accepting and even loving parts we have often felt hatred towards does not mean that we will became complacent and develop an attitude that says: "since I am accepting myself, I am as I am and I'm not going to change." Oh no! We can change in a more peaceful, loving way.
Imagine all the negative energy being produced by hating and wishing away an aspect of our very selves. No matter what it is, no matter how painful it has been, if we learn to accept and love this shadow part, then we get closer to being able to heal it.
A shadow part of the self is often a troubled part of you that has been hurt or scared in some way and is now trying to protect you from anything similar happening. It has your best interests at heart. I guess it could be viewed as a loving friend who is trying to help but doing so in a flawed way. Hating that friend is not going to help her learn how to better help you, it is only going to make her feel more troubled- and this reflects back on you and how you feel- none of us like to hurt a friend! If we learn to love that friend, she will feel reassured and we can gently help her to change her ways- this allows us to go on learning, growing and becoming better people without such an internal struggle. We are constantly changing, so it makes sense to love all aspects of ourselves as we are every step of the journey. If we are always waiting to love ourselves when we 'get there' we'll end up spending all the time being unloving of ourselves- because ultimately there is no 'there' there is only 'here', and that is wherever we are right now.
I have an 'inner lion' who helped me realise this on a deeper, more personal level in a meditation. He represents my tendancy to strive for inner perfection- and he told me that in doing so, I was missing out on all the goodness I already have within. He told me I don't need to keep hunting for perfection, because this is focusing on lack- and so doesn't allow me to celebrate the goodness of myself- because I am focusing on trying to better the 'badness'. Therefore, I end up beating myself down when I could have been building myself up for what I have achieved.
Of course it didn't come as straightforwardly as all that. In my meditation, all was peaceful and calm. I was sharing reiki with a lion, sounds strange I know but he was a big cuddly softy at this point. But that was not to last... just as I am feeling really relaxed and peaceful, he says to me in a sinister, lion-growl: "Remember, I'm a hunter." At which point he leaps upon me and kills me. What a way to emphasize a point! Thankfully however, being 'killed' lasted only a second or two... and after 'coming back to life' I realised what he was using those big scary lashing paws to tell me- hunting for inner perfection was only killing the enjoyment of the things I had already achieved- essentially killing 'me' as I was at any given moment.
So, our shadow selves do have things to tell us, if we are willing to listen and explore. The best way to do so is to be open and loving and accept who we are, at the stage we are at, right now. Because although we can and most likely will grow better on our journeys, we might as well enjoy the scenery as we go along, rather than focusing on the destination and missing out on a whole lot on the way.
The best way to enjoy the journey I think is to be loving- not only towards others, but towards ourselves, and not only towards the parts of ourselves that we like, but to the parts that we don't like too!
Not always easy, but worthwhile. For as Eckhart Tolle in 'The Power of Now' says, "There is never a time when your life is not this moment." So, let's accept ourselves now, let's love ourselves and each other, now. For now is all we ever have.
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